Now, we both know we shouldn't be affected by the environment around us, but we were nevertheless. We eventually found ourselves in a run down house, struggling to pay bills, and in extreme depression. I was having thoughts of regret thinking I wasn't being a manifesting genius, but arrogant and forceful.
The stories in this forum and the tweets, blogs and calls that followed help put me back on track. I finally said to myself, "What's my problem, I'm better then this..." so I began trying to manifest money...trying... first mistake ... money... second mistake. I found these two the way I had them in my vocabulary to be mistakes because I was first trying, I know that it should be effortless, and I was using money as the goal assuming it was the only tool to get what I want.
What did I want? To live in a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood for starters. My girlfriend and I started painting the picture (in those rare moments when we could see through the fog) and came up with some specifics:
1. Some land - Not allot, just a place where we could plant
2. Charter School for our Son - We tried unsuccessfully to get him into three different charters in the area
3. A solar home - O.k., that was a fantasy, but we were having fun with it
4. A view of the ocean - S. California has some beautiful sunsets and we wanted to watch the sun set over the ocean
There were a couple others, but I bring up these four because of how it worked out.
I looked through the house adds and said "today I will find a house!". The second place I looked at was on a quarter acre with a vegetable garden all ready for planting on a hill facing the ocean. The school district happen to be in the only Charter School we didn't apply to and guess what, it's got solar power!!
I called on the place and sure enough, it was available. I got a quick personal loan, paid off some stuff that was screwing up my finances and put a deposit down on the place. A month later, we covered all our goals and are sitting out on the back porch drinking wine and watching the sun set over the ocean!
I learned long ago (then quickly forgot several times in my life) that money is at best a tool to get what you really want. Interestingly, since we're in such a nice situation now, I'm not treating my finances with the despair I was living in. As a result, I somehow magically have more of it! I'm not even sure how that happens, but I went over it and the math works out. Weird.
Anyway, what I learned from this experience is that it really does pay to know the what and not worry about the how.